Creating the Perfect Pittsburgh Steelers Draft (Satire)

April 7, 2010   ·     ·   Jump to comments

After consulting my crystal ball, I've seen the future and know exactly how the Steelers' draft will turn out. And it will be a great one.
With their first-round pick, they select Ndamukong Suh. I know that he is supposed to be the best player in the draft, but on the day of the draft, the shocking fact that nobody named Suh, or Ndamukong for that matter, has ever succeeded in the NFL is leaked to reporters, causing him to slide to the Steelers at No. 18.
It is also noticed that the first two letters of his first name is the abbreviation for Notre Dame, who just isn’t very good. That connection also inexplicably gives some teams pause.
With their second-round pick, the Steelers select Joe Haden, cornerback of Florida. While Haden was expected to be the first corner selected, a late revelation that he listens to the Carpenters and Barry Manilow cause NFL teams to question his aggressiveness, causing his draft stock to slide precipitously.
The Steelers are all t...

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