Detroit Lions Fire Coach for Not Winning in the Preseason (Satire)

August 16, 2010   ·   SportsComedian.com   ·   Jump to comments

News came out of Detroit this morning that head coach Jim Schwartz has been fired by the Lions after a blowout preseason loss to the Pittsburgh Steelers over the weekend.
"This is it, season over. We suck again," said team president Tom Lewand. "If there was one time where we were supposed to be able to be competitive, it was the preseason! But no, we can't even avoid being blown out there! This team has a suspended quarterback, and they still put up 27 points on us!"
All remaining coaches on the Lions staff immediately yelled "Not It!" upon hearing the news, in hopes they would not have to take over the team.
Quarterback Matt Stafford said he was surprised by the firing, but was a little more optimistic on the loss.
"Well, I can't say this loss is totally surprising," Stafford added. "Their second string guys played well into the third quarter. Our whole Lions roster is pretty much third and fourth string guys, so until that final quarter we were really dominated. ...

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