Patriots vs. Jets: Tom Brady Dipped in River Styx, Eats Rex Ryan, 45-3 (Satire)

December 7, 2010   ·   Bryan Healey   ·   Jump to comments

On a cold, near-winter night down in Foxboro, with a gentle breeze flitting about the first few snowflakes of the coming season, Tom Brady and his band of brothers-in-arms took to the field at Gillette Stadium with determination in their eyes as they caused a massive traffic jam that forced me to sit angrily in place on the highway and miss part of the game!
After I finally arrived home, however, it became clear to me that something was different about this version of Tom. He looked more radiant than usual, no small feat for a man often confused with being the illegitimate offspring of George Clooney and the goddess of love, Aphrodite. And he was throwing the football with enough accuracy to warrant serious attention from military recruiters.
It was clear that it was going to be a good night.
By the time the dust settled, nearly seven Jets players were left dead or dying with an embarrassing score of 45-3. Brady stood atop the mound of piled carcasses, spe...

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