Who’s Your Daddy: Ranking the NFL’s Biggest “Players”

March 23, 2010   ·     ·   Jump to comments

For only $7.99 you can have the time of your life and keep your seed in its package, a fair price considering every NFL athlete is making money that can either rival or embarrass the president of the country they are employed in.
Unfortunately, for most of the professional athletes in America, they don't seem to share the same views of safe sex and contraception as I do, thus leading to a fatherless child, a check at the end of the month, and a list that will make your head spin and eyes widen.

No. 10: Santonio Holmes
Santonio Holmes' skills reach far beyond the playing field, as the Pittsburgh wide out has a knack for catching both passes and women.
Holmes is unmarried and has three children with two different women, and all this happened while he was attending college; apparently some people just didn't go to class.

No. 9: Shannon Sharpe
The former Denver tight end was a buckin' bronco even before he made his way to the Mile-High City...

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